Thursday, December 31, 2009
It’s the season..to be sexually frustrated. Yes, don’t hide your faces..I know you, you and yes you.. are sexually frustrated as well :P
Huahaha! I’m telling you, it is indeed the ‘sexually frustrated’ season!
Currently, I know of 3 people who are sexually frustrated and 1 who is trying his BEST to control. Goodness! The human body is a funny lil’ thing haa. Soon, we’ll need counsellors coz any kind of frustration my child, makes you do crazy crazy things ;)
A likes B. B likes A. C likes A. A doesn’t like-like C. B starts acting weird. A gets all worked up. In the mess, A gets too detached from B and realises she has started liking C. She turns to C just to see C behind someone else. Now, A runs behind C forgetting B. WTF! DOES A HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN LIFE?!!
Contrary to your expectations, this for a change is NOT my story :P
I have a friend who’s 18 already but he just refuses to GROW UP. Do guys take an unusually long period of time to grow up? I wonder ..
And he’s not the ranbir-in-wake-up-sid-wala-cute-kid kid okay, he’s the really annoying-kid kid -_-
I'm just trying to not be mean but unfortunately ..its not working out!
I want to try out past life regression too and no, not with Ravi Kishen hovering around my head!
All through 2009, I remember loving it but now I can just see myself wanting to get over with it asap! Go 2009, Go ..thy job is done! But, you've been an awesome year ;)
I’m dying of joblessness! Can’t wait for college to begin.
Ugh. I’m beginning to forget someone’s face. Good sign? Bad sign? I don’t know. Whatever it is, I don’t like the feeling :(
Okay, this post is really weird but I’m just posting it.
Oh and btw,
A very happy new year to all of you out there! May you have a rocking 2010 :)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
1. What is your current obsession?
My hair is and will always be my obsession.
2. What are you wearing today?
Pink top and blue shorts. Thinking if I should go wear a jacket coz I'm
3. What’s for dinner?
I smell Chole. Choley or chole?
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
5. What are you listening to right now?
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
She writes well and I enjoy reading her blog! Sweet girl :)
7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Sunscreen lotion! I get tanned so easily! Ugh.
9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Delhi. Right this second!
10. Which language do you want to learn?
I Want to excel in French :D
And then I want to learn Gujrati coz gujjus are cho cute!
11. What’s your favourite quote?
Whatever happens, happens for the best! I’ll believe in it till I die.
12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Coujjins. I mish them :(
13. What is your favourite colour?
Purple, I love and pink’s my new favourite!
14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Don’t overdo stuff. Make sure you’re comfortable in what you wear. Avoid animal prints coz I hate them :P
15. What is your dream job?
To do a movie that has SRK and me in the lead. Then, we can have Ben Affleck and Ranbir Kapoor too in the second half :D
16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Blaaah! Don’t kill me ..but I think it’s Femina. That’s the only magazine I’ve read in the past few months I guess :P
17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Clothes, clothes and more clothes. And I’ll also buy gifts for a few people!
18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Animal prints! Yuck.
19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Dhoni. MTV had once nominated him as a style icon. I don’t know if he won but even nominating him was like :O
20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Long but not like the ones that reach your waist
21. What are you going to do after this?
22. What are your favourite movies?
So many baba! I can’t even begin to write!
23. What inspires you?
Some people in a twisted way ..inspire me to NOT end up like them. Get me?
24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Some make cute modifications of my name and it’s really amusing to hear. And then there are some who can never learn how to pronounce my name which annoys me!
25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Coffeeeee! I wonder how people drink tea
26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I cry and it helps me. And if u think crying is a sign of weakness --> *slap*
27. What makes you go wild?
Ooh, wild and all that ;)
But in what sense exactly? I think I am perennially pretty wild :P
28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All the ones on my blogroll. Sweethearts they are!
29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
My blog, Gmail and I’m also reading Sense and Sensibilty which is a part of the reading list given to us! Talk about multi-tasking ;)
31. Favorite Season?
Winter, I loveee :)
32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
I’m sorry but I only cook for myself but if u do turn up ..I could make maggi or something for you or this chocolate dessert I invented recently ..its called Sizzling Marie! Even if you don’t want to have it, I’ll make sure u take a bite :P
33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Just look THROUGH them! I do that.
34. What are you afraid of the most?
Animals! I think the worst way to die is to get eaten up by some animal ..like a lion or something :O
35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
If only ..this nose could have been shaped differently! Lol, that’s what I think everyday :P
36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Oooh, tooo many things/people! Sometimes, I start smiling without any rhyme or reason ..
37. A word that you say a lot?
Uum, I go ‘reaaaalllyy?!’ like so many times and ‘oh fuck’ toh chalta rehta hain!
Damn, the tag’s over :(
I could go on and on! Thanks Choco :)
Rules for those who are tagged:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.
And, I’ll tag :
-Disguise (where art thou?)
Saturday, December 26, 2009
1 bottle of Vodka + half a bottle of Beer = me gone totally ‘tul’ :D
That’s how I spent 2009’s Christmas! And it was fabulous *hic*
Well, you all read about how mad I was some days back but getting drunk surely left me feeling a lot lighter and calmer. I could feel it when I woke up next morning. I felt like ..there was some kind of a burden which got released. It was my first. I’ve always wanted to get drunk and I think God made all the arrangements to make our plan work ;)
When I see how the day passed..it just looks picture perfect. Nothing went wrong. Damn, was I glad or what! That just goes to show that it just had to happen for SOME reason and it did.
I danced, I cried, I laughed like a maniac, I jumped, I sang ..I did everything I could in those 5 hours of drunkenness. I don’t think I was entirely drunk coz I do remember quite a lot of things. You know, how a kid laughs when his mum/dad throw him up into the air ..The kid knows his parents are not going to let him fall. That’s how I felt when I just fell backwards without thinking twice. And who caught me? The red bean bag :P
And it kept catching me everytime I did it. I even kissed it. Ok, I’m talking crap and no, I’m not drunk anymore. Oh, and I kept saying “I love my mumma” and “I’m sorry” before my friend put me to sleep. Yes, I love my mum but why was I sorry?
Then, we danced. We danced on Sinbad the Sailor and Masakali coz those were the only songs coming on TV that time :/ *damn*
I even screwed things up with some people on phone but I don’t really have regrets. I was just too embarrassed having said whatever I said. But duh, I have an excuse ..I was drunk c’mon! I’m allowed that I guess ;)
And then came the time, when I cried. Cried my heart out. Whining like a baby.
Hope u guys had a fun time too :)
Oh btw, I don’t understand how people get addicted to alcohol! It tastes yuck. *waaack*
It was just my medicine to get drunk. I so didn’t enjoy having it. Even imagining it to be cold coffee with chocolate sauce and whipped cream didn’t help. I almost swore to NOT touch alcohol for the next 10 months atleast! Don’t ask me about the after effects! I almost died. My tummy troubled me so much and I had a crazy headache. I slept for 6-7 hours yesterday and felt drowsy all throughout. I puked too. Infact, I spent my whole morning in the loo yesterday :/
P.S: I’m currently reading a 'super white gay vampire’s' and a 'silly girl’s' louwe story. I was forced to so don’t judge me. Yes, I'm utterly jobless and have nothing better to do in life :P
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I feel like slapping him left, right and centre..I feel like punching a punching bag till my hands hurt, I feel like throwing things around and breaking glasses, chairs, tables and everything possible, I feel like throwing away my phone, I feel like tearing open my pillow, I feel like screaming my lungs out so that it reaches him wherever he is, I feel like scribbling with a black marker on the white walls of my house, I feel like throwing tomatoes and eggs at somebody. Can I do ANY of the above? No. All I can do is C-R-Y. And I’ve cried so much already, post last night that it does not help.
Balls to being mature. Balls to being understanding. Balls to being sweet. Balls to being patient. Balls to being quiet and keeping everything to myself. All of this goes OUT of my window right this second! If being all of that makes me go through this shit then that’s it. Now, I’m going to be stubborn. I’m going to act like an immature kid and YOU have to give ME what I want. In other words, I’m just going to be YOU. Sometimes, i feel like using people and ticking them off from the tip of my fingers whenever i wish to but I can never get myself to do such a thing. I would die of guilt or something.
What irritates me is that I repeatedly find myself going in circles. I can come out of it right now but everytime I think I have..I find myself in the same position! I’m not the types who keeps high expectations from myself but this time I feel like I’ve terribly let someone down..and that’s me.
Lastly, *bows down to all those who’ve managed to conquer the non-attachment phase*
As for me, I’m unfortunately.. too comfortably settled in the ‘attachment’ phase and still haven’t figured a way out.
See what YOU do to me! I don’t even a p.s to offer for this post!
I AM MAD AT HIM AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW!
I DON'T KNOW!
Have you ever been SO angry at someone that your head feels like it's going to burst any second?
My head's hurting and I'm going back to bed.
Have a nice day ..I'm sure to -_-
Sunday, December 20, 2009
On our wedding night, he entered drunk. He abused my family and me. I was shocked to see that side of him. I couldn’t sleep that night. Next morning, I found a card beside me. He had left for work leaving me a card saying he was sorry. I forgave him. “Just one day”, I thought.
I waited for him that evening. I prepared a special dinner and decorated the house with candles too but He came home really late. He was fuming with anger for some reason and took off his anger at me. He hit me with his belt when I tried to talk to him. Next day, he apologized with flowers. I forgave him. I put it off thinking he must have had a bad day in office.
But I was wrong. Not one day, not two days..This just continued. It became a part of my life. Those beatings, those abuses, those insults, those threats..I had no choice but to get used to it. Everyday, I would feel that one day he would change, one day he’ll stop. Sadly, it never seemed to end. My friends and family often asked me what the marks on my face were. I gave them stupid reasons. I couldn’t look at them in the eye. By no means did I want them to know the torture I was made to go through. “My husband loves me, I know. He’s just short-tempered” ..I would make myself believe.
I was tired. Tired of lying to my loved ones, tired of making up for his ruthless behaviour, tired of being treated like an ‘object’, tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of looking at the marks he made on my body, tired of crying in the bathroom every night. I would just look at him and wonder what had happened to the man I married? Where had he disappeared? Who was this monster I was living with? This was all beyond my understanding.
The depressed, weak, trapped, distorted image I saw in the mirror was just not me. I wanted to free myself from his clutches. And I finally got the freedom I had longed for ..
Today, I’m free.
I’m lying on my death bed.
He finally killed me. He burnt me to death.
P.S: Inspired by the talk we had on 'Domestic Violence' recently. I dont understand how some people can be so inhuman. It disgusts me.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Gosh, this year went super fast. Feels like it was just yesterday when i turned 18
yah! THAT fast! :O
I was so not excited for my birthday. I dont feel 19. I don’t feel the change. I stopped feeling anything since the time I turned 17. No, I’m not this lifeless, depressed soul or anything. It’s just that ..age baby, was never a barrier ;)
It's 1:30 and im actually wide awake, writing this post ..knowing that i just have 3 hours before i get ready for college! Maybe because i'm just too elated coz some people just made my day ;)
This year was faaaaab! I loved 2007, 2008 and 2009
Sexiest years till date! 2010, i hope is SEXIER!
P.S: Recently, I called my friend a 'chienne' and she went WTF :S
And I was like “Huahaha, chienne means bitch” B-)
Lol, Shreya thanks for helping me increase my French vocab. I lurveee that word!
Try my best to throw it around these days :P
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thank you buckingfastard!
So, here goes ..7 things about myself that nobody knows ..
1. I’m obsessed with the mirror. I can sit in front of it for ages and make faces at myself.
2. Spontaneity excites me. I love being that way and being around such people. I hate it when people take ages to decide something. I feel like shaking them up and screaming, right into their ears!
3. I have always been scared of MJ. When I was tiny, many of my nightmares included him. May his soul rest in peace.
4. I love creating nicknames for people. Like some really embarrassing, weird ones and calling them out in public! Huahaha :D
5. I forget faces very quickly. Pictures don’t help because seeing a picture and remembering how someone looks isn’t the same. There are times when I miss someone a lot but when I try to remember his/her face, it just doesn’t happen. That sucks.
6. I’m loving French! I can go and settle down in Paris now. And anyway, francias garcon sont sexaayy ;) [I think I screwed that up :/]
7. Blogging made me realise that I don’t write thaaaat bad.
I’m loving it and finding so many like-minded people here is just wonderful!
The next step is to pass it over to 7 other people.
So, I think I’ll pass it over to everyone on my Blogroll because they are ALL such amazing writers and I enjoy reading their posts :)
1) List 7 things about yourself that nobody know.
2) Pass on this award to 7 other people.
3) Comment on their blog and let them know that they are tagged.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Okay, so my friend R and I were sitting on the marble stairs having coffee ..
“U know, my boyfriend’s coming to pick me up today”
“Aah, nice! What does he do?”
“he works! He’s really sweet haa! He looks better than me but whatever..ill introduce u guys ..let him come”
“*so not interested* oh okay! Cool cool”
“He has brown eyes! I love them! He looks really good. People told him to try modelling but I was like arey u have such a good job..don’t leave it for modelling c’mon! Right na?”
“U know how we first met? Oh god it was so filmy u know! We were fighting like crazy and then next day he only came and spoke to me and that’s how we got talking and phir he asked me out after a few days and I was like chalo, lets give It a try and I’m glad because he’s so sweet!”
“Even films don’t show those things these days. Awh, sweet! I think we have to come on Monday too for the meeting. I don’t think ill come. Serious waste of time”
“Yes we do. Ill come and ill ask him to come pick me up too! Advantage of having a boyfriend ..hahaha”
“Does your bf have no other work? Hahaha, ya do that!”
Her phone rings. It’s her boyfriend
“Where are you? Haa so come fast! Got a cab? It’ll take 10 mins from the station! Hmm, ok! Shut up. Don’t act smart haa! Hahahaha! Okay fine ..come and then we’ll see! Call me when u get a cab okay! If u don’t get it ..ill come. Bye”
back to me
“He keeps doing masti! Let’s go and stand near the gate. He should be coming!”
“No u go. I’ll have to wait for N here. You carry on! Have fun ..I’ll meet him some other time ya!”
“Oh okay! Ya, ill tell him to come everyday now! Kuch toh kaam aaye ..haha”
“Haha! Ya ya! Bye”
And I sat there waiting for N who turned up after 20 minutes!
“Where the fuck were you?!”
“Don’t ask! I met R while entering and then we got talking and her boyfriend came and she got us introduced and stuff! I need coffeeee!!”
..and I died laughing!
Girls I tell you :P
I study in an all girls college and sometimes it gets to me. There are some girls who are just so excited about having a boyfriend. They can start yapping about their boyfraaands to anyone they meet! It’s really amusing to hear because they are just so jumpy about the whole thing! All you have to do is sit and stare and nod and smile ofcourse!
P.S: I watched P.S. I love you and wept for the zillionth time.
As I’m writing this, I realise how I totally exploit the usage of post-scripts! Lol, I just can’t do without them! :P
I have to add atleast one P.S at the end of every post!
Friday, December 4, 2009
You feel like shit when people think you to be something you just aren’t and never intended to be. It’s damn annoying because all you want to do is scream from the roof-tops but even that doesn’t seem to help much. Why do I care so much? I am that way. It does affect me, especially when a not-so-pleasant tag has been stuck to you for quite a long time. The Ms. Arrogant tag.
When I heard this for the first time, I was like WHAAT ..but im not that way and blah blah blah! Now, I’m getting used to it. Not that I’m proud of it but in a way I have no choice. Many people have told me that I just LOOK arrogant but after knowing me they know I’m nowhere close to being so. But that’s not good right? I have no intentions of coming across as an arrogant person. I don’t even know from where it started. I tried to dig up so many reasons..maybe I don’t smile 'enough' or maybe I don’t 'seem' that interested in meeting new people and so on ..
I’m still left with no answer. And when I don’t know the reason, I can’t see from where I can start making the changes.
How much can I say that I don’t care? At the end of the day, I do care because that’s not what I am ..I AM NOT ARROGANT ..yes, I’m shouting now! Is it right to make your baseless judgements without even making an effort to know the person? Its sick. I’m exhausted and I feel like I’ve failed miserably.
Whatever it is, I know there are many who’ll stand up for me and who know how I am. For the others, I’ll just give myself a few more chances and change the way I ‘make’ myself appear. Yes, I’m making efforts because I want to do away with the fucking tag. It bloody well bothers me.
If things still don’t change, balls to them. I’m done.
Go die, you judgemental assholes. Fuck you.
‘I want to live in a world where people don’t judge you with what they’ve heard, they actually take the efforts to know you’
Monday, November 30, 2009
Meghna’s looks could not be left unobserved. She was a really pretty girl. The perfect eyes, the perfect nose, everything was just so perfect! Wherever she went people had to comment on her good looks. Even though she was used to it, she didn’t let that go to her head. She remained her sweet, loving self.
Days went by..she had guys coming and confessing their 'love'for her. Valentines Day would bring with it a whole bunch of flowers and chocolates for her and only her. Sia being her closest friend witnessed all this quietly. She was ofcourse very happy for Meghna but just one day while thinking to herself, she realised that she was a ‘nobody’. Whenever she was with Meghna, she became invisible. No one would even notice her presence. There were people who came and spoke to her only about her best friend. She took all this and slowly and unconsciously started making judgements about herself. She started believing in the fact that she was ugly, useless and not even close to Meghna who she considered to be very lucky. Even though they were best friends, this was one dark secret she never wished to share. Inspite of all this, She didn’t let it affect their friendship. The bond just strengthened.
Finally, the day came when Sia had to leave that school, that city, that country for good. It was a horrible day for both of them. Sia cried buckets. She hated God for this. Going and adjusting to a whole new place sent shivers down her spine. But she had no choice. The surroundings, people, situations had changed but Sia’s perception about herself remained unaltered. Infact, it grew. She wasn’t a loner but she hated her life, the decisions she made..She hated everything related to her. She disliked the way she looked and thought herself to be plain ugly. When she would hear about some guys having a crush on her, she would wonder how one could like HER. She would always tell her friends, “If I was a guy, I would never ever like ME”. Nothing and no one could make her believe that she was not as bad as she thought herself to be.
And that girl, WAS me :)
Yes, this is my story. Things said and done, it’s been 3 years since I’ve changed. So many things happened in these years that made me rethink and change the way I feel about myself and life in general. Now, I’m not even close to being what I used to be. I can say that I LOVE what I see in the mirror everyday ;)
I never hated that gorgeous looking friend of mine. I still don’t. She’s an amazing person and made me realise a very important thing about myself. The funny part is, another VERY good friend of mine is greatly responsible for helping me carrying out that massive change. Love you both.
For all u people out there who don’t like themselves, do come out of it. Believe me, it’s a terrible way to live. Everyone’s unique, everyone’s beautiful in their own way and there’s absolutely no need to compare yourself to others. Make the utmost of the life bestowed upon you.
Sometimes I wonder what state I would have been in ..if those 3 years hadnt happened. I don’t think I would have survived this much. No one can.. with SUCH a pessimistic take on life.
P.S: And don’t you dare laugh at the lameness of the title..
‘Once upon a time’ is used for fairytales and this is ONE of my fairytales too :)
Just without a guy but who says u need a guy in every fairytale huh!
Main apni favourite hoon. Period. :D
Friday, November 27, 2009
Yes, that had to happen today when I had a bloody 2 hour paper to write. ARGH.
And the song was none other than Akon’s Right Now (Akon, I hate u.)
So, there was this huge mess brewing in my head while writing..
Something like ..
Communal riots are the manifestation of communal tension
I wanna make up right now na na
The victims or participants are not necessarily the instigat..
wish we never broke up right now na na
igators. The people usually belong to the urban poor and..
we need to link up right now na na
oh, WTF. And I gave the whole paper like that :|
I saw this group on facebook which read ‘I daydream randomly and then realise I’m staring at someone by mistake’
LMAO. Story of my life. Love you, facebook ;)
Save me. I no want to study :(
Monday, November 23, 2009
Last week was super hectic.. I was awfully busy. I didn’t come online, didn’t watch tv, no reading nothing ..thats HOW busy I was! But I loved it. I was caught up with my college fest and now its over ..and I miss it like crazy already. I still feel I have to get up at 5 tomorrow morning and rush to college and see it all beautifully decorated and filled with people and banners
Why do crows shit only on my head? I know my hair’s like awesome and it smells great but cmon ya! :P
Those dirty, black, irritating creatures need to get a life! All they do is eat and shit around. Ugh. Useless beings.
I lost my cell, almost. And those 30 mins were the worst part of this week. I felt so handicapped without it. Like, there’s no reason to live anymore! My contacts, messages, pictures, videos ..i would have lost them ALL! Some asshole flicked it, switched it off and kept it somewhere in college while I was washing the shit off my hair. Thanks to the crows, again :\
I saw something which solved my problems concerning this friend of mine. There are some people who live at the cost of making fun of others. They kinda rob u off your energy by saying and doing stuff making you feel really negative about yourself and there u go, that’s what gets them all charged up. Hmm, so I have this friend who exactly fits in this category and whenever I would talk to her ..she would leave me feeling really bad about myself and my life. Well, she has this 'awesome' effect on everyone. But now no more baby! I realised, there’s a certain way of talking to such people. You cant let them steal your energy and get away with it! You just cant! I finally hit the nail on the head and this time when I met her ..wahahhaa ..i wasn’t affected one bit! And im glad. Bring it on ;)
I’m feeling very proud of myself today. No, not in the negative boastful way but just In the sense that I feel satisfied to see my growth In all these years and I just wish that it continues and doesn’t get stagnant. There's a lot to learn and implement.
I Met some really genuinely sweet people recently. They just made me wonder how one could be that big-hearted. Yes, I met some bitches too but, that’s normal noh.
Being happy without any damn reason makes you even happier :P
I have never seen SO much cuteness together as much as I saw last week. Gosh, seriously! Cuteness, hotness..Whatever you want to call it! Where were all these people all this time maaaan!! I feel, they should be distributed well :P
Its not done otherwise! Dont you think? ;)
Whenever I see my 5 year old cousin, I feel like having a kid. He’s just so cute..Makes me want to raise a child up too. Guess that has to wait!
If someone asks me to go and stay at Crossword for a year, I really wouldn’t mind! I can make that place my home and stay with those books! I can live on those pastries and sandwiches they offer in the coffee shop inside. Just me, my books ..and those pastries :)
I’ve fallen in love with Bryan Adams all over again! I want someone to sing his songs to me ..now now now!!
I saw my ex’s twin. Some random guy who looks exactly like my ex. I saw him sitting backstage and he looked so similar to him. Just before I could hide behind those curtains, that guy turned and *phew* ..it came out to be someone else!
Okie, that was quite an update huh! Im tired. I shall go and get some sleep now.
Tell me u missed me too ;)
P.S: why is this post called chiggy wiggy?
Aive hi! ‘I wana chiggy wiggy with u boy’ ;)
btw, im so happy to see the kind of response my previous post got. Its great to see so many different takes on attachment and all that. Thanks :)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I read this in some book. I read it like 5 times. I still don’t get how the right way to be in a relationship is to be in a state of 'nonattachment'. Maybe, there’s something important I’m missing out here.
What do you guys think?
Attachment? Detachment? Nonattachment?
From what I see, I can say that I can’t help getting attached.
And it’s just not fun.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
If I had invested even half of my mind, energy and time into thinking about my studies and doing some career planning instead of thinking about EVERYTHING else, I would have had scored way better earlier (its not too late, but still ..)
Guess, its all about priorities ..but what do u do when u know what your priorities are but (at times) u wished they were different ..
I don’t know what we’re supposed to do in such a state, but u sure turn out to look like this ..
HANGING. Yes, what a lovely state that is :|
P.S: Its great fun to watch my Bengali and Marathi maid talk to each other in their own respective languages :P
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sadly, that’s not all ..Its a massive thing..this P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E.
So yeah, how long do you put up with this? The breaking point is bound to occur one day or the other..When u just can’t take it anymore. You’ve tested your patience enough. At the end, whats happened? Situations are the same, nothing’s changed, its just you who’s more screwed up than ever.
This is the time, to get up..dust yourself and just let go. That one moment which makes u realise that you’ve been tightly holding on to something which was just not yours and maybe isn’t meant to be. A difficult phase but the time when you realise that the breaking point has arrived gives you a weird kind of happiness. You feel liberated. All these days, you were caged by your own thoughts..Now you’re free.
The concluding factor of this whole ‘mess’ is change. It sucks. Atleast, I completely detest it. That’s why, I always prefer sticking to something more ‘comforting’..Something that is more familiar to me ..only to realise its better to move on and let things be ..because im no one to change the way a person feels.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Boy: I don’t know …
G: like, what were u thinking? Were u serious?
B: I don’t know ..i guess
G: okay, what are u confused about? Tell me all
B: umm, its weird ..i don’t know ..
G wants to slap the shit out of him and push him into a well and never see his fucking face again ..but then all she manages to say is “okay”
How do guys never know anything? Hows it possible? If u don’t know, then who will! Do u expect me to read ur mind or something? Are u a 5 year old kid who’s having trouble deciding which toy he wants to buy! Wake up! We’re talking SERIOUS stuff out here dammit! I dont know how u do this 'i dont know' thing.
This I-Don’t-Know problem is so often seen among guys! U can never have a proper discussion with the overflow of ‘I don’t knows’ ..It just kills the mood. How much do u want the other person to extract stuff out of u? And then u ask ..why I am getting so serious! Serious?! Yes, its obviously not serious for u..Coz I’m the mindfucked one out here! Im the one who has to assume stuff and analyse what your different I-don’t-knows ‘might’ mean! ARGGHH!
You OUGHT to know honey! You OUGHT to! The best way to avoid I-don’t-knows is to communicate. Just tell her all that you’re confused about. You’ll spare her the torture and those mind boggling sessions she’ll have because of YOU! Makes life so much more easier..doesn’t it?
Calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Sigh. I so wish some kabootar could take this post and show it to the person who made me write it :(
Yes, I had to vent it out and now im done. Im out.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The ‘what’s up’ types!
Ugh. Who invented this word? Whenever someone asks this question, the person is not really interested in knowing what’s actually happening in your life ..its merely a way to start a conversation(and then kill it)! Before even asking the question, u know what u’r gonna get back in return...And that’s "nothing ya, just normal stuff"
I mean seriously, why would I even bother to tell some random friend ..this is up and that is up ..And blah blah blah. U’r not even interested so why the hell do u ask me such dumb questions!!
What’s up is still fine..Recently a random person turned up and asked “so, what is up?” I mean..Duh! “What’s up” toh theek tha, now what’s with the “what is up” dude!
Some people have this annoying habit of coming weirdly close to u while talking. So close that u have no place to breathe! You’re like screaming for oxygen out there and that person expects u to have a proper conversation with him/her! There was a time when I actually tripped while moving away from the person. Like I kept going behind and *woops* I tripped over a stone! And he went like “omg! Careful” ..yeah right careful! U’ll attack me any second, how can I be careful :S
Another habit which irritates me is when people start getting too touchy! I have a space around me and I don’t like just anyone intruding it. Its creeps me out! I have a cousin who just cant keep her hands off people! The last time I went to her house, she actually slept all night hugging me ..and u can imagine how the night passed! Yes, I was unable to move ..i managed to sleep for like an hour or so!
And then u have people who cant stop saying “what else”! After every sentence u say, they’ll go “so, what else”. ARGH. What do u want to hear! No, just tell me what u want to hear and ill say it and u can finally stop saying those two unbearable words! In some time, maybe before u even complete the sentence ..the person’s gonna go “what else?” :O
The last category I can think of now is that of those people who expect u to have no other work than to sit and call them every single day! Even if u’r talking to them after 2 days ..they’ll be like “You forgot me na! Aisa na. U cant even call! What ya!”
Seriously honey, im TRYING to forget u ..but kya kare, u just keep appearing :S
Why this sudden outburst of annoying habits? Well, its because I just met a friend who is blessed with all these qualities :D
Huahaha! But who does not have annoying habits noh ;)
P.S: Kareena’s hot man!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
-You Are Here by Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan
This for me, is the best part of the book. I totally agree with it! Some of us are made that way. We have fun playing the ‘victim’..everytime. It gives us a weird kind of a high. I too was once upon a time a part of that league.
Times have changed. Im done blaming people for the various things that have happened. Im glad they occurred, for if it wasn’t for them and those assholes that came by and shook me, I wouldn’t be the way I am today. I needed that *shaking* from time to time.
The teenage years is the time when we start whining about every small thing happening to us ..and u know the “I like him but he likes my best friend” shit ..and ofcourse “why meeee!!” is like the most common dialogue used by people. I SO hate that line! Doesn’t make sense. Stop fretting people. Get a life.
..and for some, that continues and u slowly start becoming that way. U get used to crying over stuff and having a hundred people console u
There was a point of time when saying “im bugged” became a routine for me. In a day, I just had to say that line atleast once! Then one day, my friend asked me why was i SO bugged and that what went wrong ..and I just stared back blankly at her.
lol, I didn’t know why I was bugged inspite of using it every single day!
And from that day onwards, I stopped using that highly negative and depressing line.
Like some people have the habit of saying “im bored” ..they just cant do without it. They’re so used to saying that, that it eventually becomes a part of them.
So its always better to stop showing yourself as this totally bored, tired, irritated with life, why-me types personality ..
U just spread negativity and nothing else.
Take a stand. If u dont like the way your life's turning out to be and u think it sucks, do something about it. Dont just complain. Gets u nowhere.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I agree at times i do tend to over-think but duh ..not always! There is a thin line between thinking and over-thinking ..and over-thinking only gets in negativity but that shouldnt stop u from thinking. Introspection is such an important thing. U need to question urself every now and then ..
People just avoid thinking and questioning themselves coz they're afraid to know themselves. Once u discover some things about yourself, u never knew ..it would require u to change those things which u've always believed in without any reason. This obviously is a huge task. Thus, why think! UGH. Unbelievable.
And the worst part is when some people close to u are like that ..
it takes them ages to become aware of the things that are OBVIOUS to u!
P.S: I dont suffer from a superiority complex ..but at times i cant help wondering why people are so dumb.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I just know ..im having fun ..and im happy
I have NO plan whatsoever!
Half the people around me have every single step of theirs planned out ..right in front of their eyes ..and me ..im far from planning ..
coz i dont think planning helps. Life just throws u stuff ..and there go ur 'plans' down the drain!
But yes, they do make u feel much more secure
Tell me this is NORMAL!
..those 'ambitious' ones out there must be giving me weird looks ..ahh, i know!
P.S: STOP the fucking crackers! DIWALI is OVER people!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I know im supposed to enjoy and cherish every moment and live in the present and blah blah ..but I cant stop such passing thoughts from coming my way!
P.S: Cant I just have a world which only includes people I love ..minus all those impurities! Okay, I know I sound dumb but im feeling so helpless.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
B: but u shoudnt have slapped me! Relax yaar, it was a just a joke!
A: whaaat? I didn’t slap u!
B: ofcourse u did ..u slapped me hard!
A: no I didn’t!
B: u kicked me in the groin and u slapped me as well!
[and this argument continued! Both of them were furious at each other. A got up and left, disgusted.]
For all those who haven’t figured it out ..yeah, A is me :S
and im still wondering ..if I did slap and kick him that hard! I feel as though I was drugged or something coz I swear I don’t remember doing anything like that!
Lol, this is pretty comical! He’s like the 2nd person I’ve slapped (my brother being the first) :D
..and seriously, if I intended to slap him ..i would have slapped him harder :P
So what do u do when something like this happens?! :O
Apologize? But for what o_o
Trust me, im still trying to remember!
Haha ..coz I just remember my hands and legs moving in the air! I mean, if u slap someone, aren’t u supposed to feel it! DUH!
P.S: and no, im not a violent person. I don’t indulge in such ‘hatha payi’ every second day :P
Im a peace-loving person! But when I get down to slapping and kicking ..im pretty GOOD ;)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Lovely weather. Got up early for a change. Finished everything on time.. smoothly. Reached the bus stop. Got a good seat. I was on my way to meet a friend. Travelling by the BRTS bus is always a pleasure..
Very happy with the way the day started, I plugged in my iPod and looked out of the bus window. Just then, I received a message and while I was replying, I looked up and *THUD* ..I saw him. I didn’t believe what I saw ..rather I didn’t WANT to believe what I saw. Am I hallucinating? Or is he really in the same bus as mine! Oh fuck. He is and I want to jump out!! Dammit.
There he was in that blue t-shirt of his, my ‘darling' ex. His hairstyle had changed. He was looking so different. So wicked (or was it just me?!). I saw him after a full gap of 6 months. I quickly looked away. I don’t even know if he saw me, for all I care! I saw him and I hated it. The bus started. I did want to turn behind and see where he was but I didn’t. I’ve done too many silly things as far as he is concerned...so yeah.
The music was playing in my ears but I didn’t get a WORD. My thoughts went places. I suddenly felt very ‘small’. There was a time when I increased the volume to the fullest possible just so that my thoughts get obstructed but it was no use. I kept getting that horrible feeling. Sharing the same space with him became so difficult. I just wanted to dig myself way below the ground. Like way below. I hate being reminded of his existence. Suddenly, I started coughing frantically. It just wouldn’t stop. Oh, bloody hell! Not now! And then the funniest thing happened.. I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Is it because of the coughing or Am I actually crying? Oh shit! To make matters worse, the aunty beside me just HAD to stare! Leave me alone!
I love the way my life is right now but even the look of him is enough to spoil my day. Yes, we ended on a very ugly note. After grade 12, I wanted to to leave Bombay. One of the major reasons was so that I don’t see him anymore. Sadly, that didn’t happen. I’m here and so is he.
I’m still trying to figure out why I feel this way whenever he’s around. Why can’t I look at him in the eye! Why do I avoid him! Why do I still give a shit to his presence! I never loved him. I was just plain used to him. Some weird kind of attachment for no reason..Which I don’t think ill ever have with anyone else.
I feel, the way our relationship ended was very incomplete. I have a lot left to say but he doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass. He has moved on very well. Even I have but such small instances disturb me. I suck.
I know I’m giving him the power to hurt me. But trust me, I can’t help it. The feeling’s still there and I guess ill just wait for it to disappear. As usual..
He’s still special. And god, he looked so cute.
P.S: Whenever I think a lot about him, he just appears. It happened this time too. Weird.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
D: Wake up sid, saare paanch baje..
Me: huh? What? Sing it again
D: why? Wake up sid, saare paanch baje (she said it again so casually.. like nothing was wrong)
..when I heard this and saw the expression on her face, I burst into fits of laughter! Laughed like a total maniac. Finally, I managed to tell her that its wake up sid, saare pal kahe and not saare paanch baje for god’s sake!
And she was like “oh ya?! I didn’t know! But ..saare paanch baje also fits na?:P”
Waise, it does..
“wake up sid, saare paanch baje
wake up sid, chal kahi chale…”
I cant help laughing my ass off when people mess up the lyrics of some song! :D
Its just really very amusing to hear!
Btw, wake up sid. Go watch. Amazing. Ok not so amazing. Im biased coz I adore Ranbir. But go for it. One time watch.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Well, it’s happened to me SO many times!
I just feel like listing a few :P
· I was just cleaning my cupboard a few days back and I stumbled upon this old photo album. I came across some photographs of myself when I was like 12 or 13..and I couldn’t believe my eyes! There was this picture of me..wearing this weird dress which I can’t believe I wore! And that silly hairstyle! I mean, which world was I in! But I must say, my fashion sense has come a long way now ..haha! Im glad :)
· My list of crushes! Lol, when I think about them now I just can’t help laughing at myself. Seriously, WHAT was I thinking :O
One of them looks so gay now (that was mean but really!)
· And this people, is like the HUGEST what-the-fuck-was-i-thinking moment..the time when I told my friends that I was about to say a yes to R(who’s my ex now) and they were like “are u sure?” (considering how different my ex and i were. I mean we were on totally different wavelengths but well don’t get me started on that) and I was like (with FULL conviction) “ya baba, ill break up by next month. next month, 17th ..done! ill just say yes now”
How smart I thought I was! Balls! Forget breaking up on the 17th ..it took me almost a full fucking year to get over him after we actually broke up! I was so MAD! So idiotic to even think I was that brave :S
Aah, such bizarre things happen and all I can do now is LAUGH
..at my stupidity :D
Silly me, oh so silly i was :P
Friday, September 25, 2009
I have plans. Great plans for my life. My greatest fear is that things won’t turn out the way I want them to. That scares the shit out of me at times.
But when I think about it calmly, I realize that till date not everything has shaped up the way I thought it would..And guess what..Im still alive and kickin’ :)
Yes, there are moments. The ‘not-so-happy’ moments ..Times when u feel really helpless and disappointed, when u don’t know where ur life’s heading and u don’t see the point of continuing this ‘struggle’ anymore! Such tiring times come and whether u let them remain and rust is a choice u make.
Sometimes, I feel like just going with the flow. Like letting yourself totally loose and just taking what life gives u. Im getting the hang of it slowly and I must say its fun. Really exciting. U feel like ur whole life’s one big adventure! Take risks, live every moment to the fullest! Speaking about risks, I just remembered a part of this conversation I had with a friend.
We were talking about something (I cant really remember what) and she said “how can u experiment with your life! Cmon, its just one life u’ve got!” and I was like “Doooode! That’s the point!”
And she went :S
[Okay, both of us are on totally different wavelengths :D]
yup! So im on my way to enjoy this beautiful journey :)
and I just want to be haaaappy
*does a dance while singing .."Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy"*
P.S: btw "Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy" is this really crappy song wherein this silly little cartoon tries to teach us how to be happy or some shit like that ..i forgot o_O
Thursday, September 17, 2009
hmm, I have 5 more minutes. Snooze
I can sleep for 10 more minutes. I wont be late. Snooze
I wont shampoo my hair today. Its not even oily. Snooze
arey yaar! I'll take the rick instead of the bus. Snooze
WTF. When did it become 5:45! How am I gonna get ready in 20 minutes :O
*switches of the alarm and runs for the loo*
..and my whole day goes this way..running!
I suffer from a problem. I can’t wake up in the morning. It JUST doesn’t happen. U wake me up at 6, its too early..u wake me up at 8, its too early ..and even if u wake me up at 11, its STILL too early!
My mornings start with me battling with my alarm clock and my phone and my mind which keeps wanting to sleep more and more! My mum, my poor poor mum loses an extra hour of her sleep to wake me up! I feel so meaaan :(
But trust me I’ve tried everything! I’ve tried putting all kinds of weird songs as my alarm tone but gradually my ears got adapted to every fucking song! Then I tried putting an ugly alarm clock(with an uglier tone) on top of the cupboard but ..i didn’t end up hearing it :S
There have been times when I’ve asked my friends to give me wake-up calls and talk for a few minutes so that im all UP ..but even that didn’t work! I slept through all their calls :((
Gimme solutions people! It gives me the creeps to think about the time when I’ll have office and ill be staying alone..what am I going to do! Who’s going to wake me up :O
Ill be fired on the first day itself! Sheeeeeeeet!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
The reason being that im more comfortable this way and if I feel the need to reveal my identity someday here, I will :)
So just when I thought I was doing a good job and that none of my friends who blog or read blogs came across mine ..this happened..
Lets name this friend of mine M and below is a part of our conversation about 'Pebbles'..
M: oh btw! Do u like have a blog? U didn’t even give me the link!
Me: me? Blog? No ways! I told u earlier that im too lazy to start one
M: seriously? I came across this blog and this girl sounded so much like u! ditto
Me: really? Oh okay! So did u play pool today? (topic change! Topic change!)
M: no not today. Got bored.
Me: aah, 2 days and u get bored!
M: check it out! Just check it out www.dumdee-dee.blogspot.com
Me: (guhreat! He’s giving me the link to my OWN blog) oh ya ok ..later
M: NOW! Cmon, I gtg in 5 mins! Just read her posts
Me: (*argh*) arey yaar! Okay
[I don’t reply for 10 minutes. Pretending to read this ‘girl’s’ blog]
M: done? The bobby deol thing, Ben Affleck, the SRK thing, those quotes u forced me to read and her excited views on marriage! Total U!
M: she writes just the way u do. Weird. I thought it was u by the end of it. Okay, I gtg. Cya later
Haha, he knows me really well I must say :D
So, M if u’r reading this..Yeah, oRange* is indeed ..ME :)
Ya ya, call me when u’r done reading this
And I even know the trail of questions that will follow :P
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
U get attached and then u have a bundle of expectations from that person and when that person doesn’t act accordingly..*booom*! There goes ur mood..ur entire day(sometimes week) is destroyed! And what’s frustrating is that I very conveniently allow someone to do that!
Im trying to not expect but HELL, its difficult! Its shit difficult. It drives me nuts. I hate expecting. I hate it but I can’t help it!
Im in the process but why is it taking ages!
Moreover, what’s worse is when the person u’r 'expecting' things from is a complete opposite. Like completely. He does not even know what expectations mean ..THAT different! U feel like a complete dumbass then! Now, if he does not get attached to anyone (I don’t know how, but whatever..) that’s not my problem!
So, is that the way to go about it? Not get attached to anyone in the first place? But isn’t that sad? Or is that the key to be freed from such mood spoilers?
If anyone knows how to handle this, please enlighten me! Im highly pissed.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Its time I set my priorities straight..
Its time i know what’s long-lived and whats not..
Its time I understand the importance of the time I have now..
Its time I start making the best use of the opportunities given to me..
Its time I start living at the moment and not give a fuck to whats going to happen tomorrow..
Its time I stop questioning all that’s happening and start enjoying life..
p.s: I feel like going to the terrace and singing 'I'm Alive' :)
When you bless the day, I just drift away, All my worries die, I'm glad that I'm alive!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My views about marriage have taken quite a few drastic turns over the last couple of years. Some years back, I would get so excited about getting married. I seemed to love everything about it that time. The whole ceremony stuff, the shopping, the gifts, all the people coming in to be a part of your BIG day ..oh sure, MY SOOOOPER BIG DAY :)
And ofcourse , most importantly ..u get to spend the rest of ur life with the guy u ‘love’ ..and then come kids and blah blah blah
But now, I don’t feel the same anymore. I mean, I still want to get married but a hell lotta questions come up in my mind! Why is this word given so much importance?!
Why is it that if u don’t get married by the time u’r 30 ..people go ‘haaaaaw!’
Yes, a ‘normal’ life would be to get married and have kids at ofcourse the ‘right’ times ..but duh, who made it that way!
I’ve heard guys say ..”ya, I like dating bad girls but I think I would want to marry a good girl” ..wtf! no really, WTF :S
Do things change after marriage? Do people just change overnight thinking that they are now married? If no, then why such statements?!
What if u guys don’t gel well? Isn’t that important! I mean, u freaking have to spend ur whole life with her! What if things don’t work out!
Yes, I know there’s divorce but duh ..my point is that we need not go through all the complications before marriage if we just take wise decisions before taking sucha step.
Ok, now lets jump to my issues with marriage! Im just scared. Scared, not of commitment but scared if we fall out of love after getting married. U know, the whole taking each other for granted thing. It happens, I’ve seen couples around ..unhappy couples who just don’t feel the same about each other anymore. They’re just too busy with their professional lives and handling their kids that living with each other becomes like a duty for them. Now, that’s miserable.
I just hope, im able to find someone ..who’s right for me, like bang on! only then I think, will I marry. sometimes I wonder if im expecting too much..
I have no idea how things are going to turn out 10 years from now and how people close to me will react to my decisions but I just hope I have the courage to stand up for what I believe is right for me.
Damn! Im excited to see whats in store for me and after all this, what i will actually end up doing :D
..oh, I have a lot to say about kids as well but I guess ill keep it for later! Toodles
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sometimes u cry, just for the sake of it..
Sometimes u want cry like crazy. the times when u'r just too screwed and the best way to vent it out would be to cry. so u try really hard to weep but not a fucking drop comes out!
Sometimes u know u'r just going to burst out crying near all those people and before u can even try to stop them..whaaaaaaaam, there come your tears rolling down! just so embarrassing.
damn. that sucks. its like someone else has control over my tear glands -_-
btw, have u guys heard 'cry' by rihanna? its faaab :)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
i just talk too much. blabber any shit without thinking.
wtf, do i always have to mould my words depending on the person im talking to :S
thats so frustrating.
especially when it comes to guys ..i mean, i do talk freely about sex and stuff ..does that give wrong signals? maybe it does ..but i cant help it
oh GAWD. spare me
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
'We dont look for an answer, we accept and then life becomes much more intense, much more brilliant because we understand that each minute, each step that we take, has a meaning that goes far beyond us as individuals. We realise that somehwere in time and space this question does have an answer. We realise that there is a reason for us being here and for us that is enough. We surrender ourselves fully to each moment, knowing that there is always a hand to guide us and whether we accept it or not is entirely up to us.'
'True love allowed each person to follow their own path, knowing that they would never lose touch with their soulmate. Sooner or later, they would be together.'
'At the time of orgasm, the five senses vanish and you enter the world of magic. You can no longer see, hear, taste, touch or smell. During those long seconds, everything disappears, to be replaced by ectasy..'
Monday, August 17, 2009
before u think im totally crazy to like bobby deol, just hear me out
the guy's actually really sweet. i think he's highly misunderstood. yes, he cant dance nor does he act that well and he isnt that much of a great looker too but still :P
i mean, i pity him. so many years in the industry but people hardly like him. imagine the pressure people! being dharmendra's son and all that :D
i so wish he gets good movies..rather movies in his kitty!
note to bobby:
if at any point of time u need a supporter, im always there. go bobby!
'Soldier, soldier..meethi baatein bolkar, dilko chura legaya'
okay, that movie wasnt thaaaaaat bad.
cant believe I was that bored
i've heard all this a million times but how true is it?! personally, i dont believe in saying the truth always. before just blurting out the truth, i feel its very important to gauge the situation first. why should we always stick to the truth if the people listening arent ready for it? will they accept u inspite of hearing the truth? if not, then whats the need to say the truth and screw things up!
i dont understand why people go on and on about 'being truthful' if they arent prepared to hear it!
i lie. its not a habit but i've lied quite a number of times. most of the times to save both me and the other person from all the complications that would arise because of this small, insignificant truth.
at the same time, i dont think one should lie about major things. major here meaning, somethings which will affect your and the other person's life. so it basically depends on how big a truth u'r hiding.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
whats so good about sundays? the weekend's over (barely a weekend though when u've got college on saturdays as well) and sundays leave me totally bored and irritated. at the end of the day, i just feel fat coz most sundays are spent at home, hogging!
the next week should be smooth. college im assuming should reopen on wednesday. i really dont mind if they extend it till next monday or something.
i recently heard some college students cribbing about how their portion wont get over because of the strike and this swine flu shit.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
but seriously i didnt know so much work goes into creating blogs. i've made several attempts before and all the times i was too lazy to finish. procastination yes, my other name!
well well, i really dont know how ill pull this off but writing's always been a hobby so lets see!
p.s: i suck at keeping names. hence, this totally absurd link and blog name.