I am so furious, I could KILL somebody!
I feel like slapping him left, right and centre..I feel like punching a punching bag till my hands hurt, I feel like throwing things around and breaking glasses, chairs, tables and everything possible, I feel like throwing away my phone, I feel like tearing open my pillow, I feel like screaming my lungs out so that it reaches him wherever he is, I feel like scribbling with a black marker on the white walls of my house, I feel like throwing tomatoes and eggs at somebody. Can I do ANY of the above? No. All I can do is C-R-Y. And I’ve cried so much already, post last night that it does not help.
Balls to being mature. Balls to being understanding. Balls to being sweet. Balls to being patient. Balls to being quiet and keeping everything to myself. All of this goes OUT of my window right this second! If being all of that makes me go through this shit then that’s it. Now, I’m going to be stubborn. I’m going to act like an immature kid and YOU have to give ME what I want. In other words, I’m just going to be YOU. Sometimes, i feel like using people and ticking them off from the tip of my fingers whenever i wish to but I can never get myself to do such a thing. I would die of guilt or something.
What irritates me is that I repeatedly find myself going in circles. I can come out of it right now but everytime I think I have..I find myself in the same position! I’m not the types who keeps high expectations from myself but this time I feel like I’ve terribly let someone down..and that’s me.
Lastly, *bows down to all those who’ve managed to conquer the non-attachment phase*
As for me, I’m unfortunately.. too comfortably settled in the ‘attachment’ phase and still haven’t figured a way out.
See what YOU do to me! I don’t even a p.s to offer for this post!
I AM MAD AT HIM AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW!
I DON'T KNOW!
Have you ever been SO angry at someone that your head feels like it's going to burst any second?
My head's hurting and I'm going back to bed.
Have a nice day ..I'm sure to -_-