Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I'm about to burst!

I am so furious, I could KILL somebody!
I feel like slapping him left, right and centre..I feel like punching a punching bag till my hands hurt, I feel like throwing things around and breaking glasses, chairs, tables and everything possible, I feel like throwing away my phone, I feel like tearing open my pillow, I feel like screaming my lungs out so that it reaches him wherever he is, I feel like scribbling with a black marker on the white walls of my house, I feel like throwing tomatoes and eggs at somebody. Can I do ANY of the above? No. All I can do is C-R-Y. And I’ve cried so much already, post last night that it does not help.

Balls to being mature. Balls to being understanding. Balls to being sweet. Balls to being patient. Balls to being quiet and keeping everything to myself. All of this goes OUT of my window right this second! If being all of that makes me go through this shit then that’s it. Now, I’m going to be stubborn. I’m going to act like an immature kid and YOU have to give ME what I want. In other words, I’m just going to be YOU. Sometimes, i feel like using people and ticking them off from the tip of my fingers whenever i wish to but I can never get myself to do such a thing. I would die of guilt or something.

What irritates me is that I repeatedly find myself going in circles. I can come out of it right now but everytime I think I have..I find myself in the same position! I’m not the types who keeps high expectations from myself but this time I feel like I’ve terribly let someone down..and that’s me.

Lastly, *bows down to all those who’ve managed to conquer the non-attachment phase*
As for me, I’m unfortunately.. too comfortably settled in the ‘attachment’ phase and still haven’t figured a way out.

See what YOU do to me! I don’t even a p.s to offer for this post!
Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!


Have you ever been SO angry at someone that your head feels like it's going to burst any second?
My head's hurting and I'm going back to bed.
Have a nice day ..I'm sure to -_-


*Shreya* said...

i'v NEVER been THAAAAAAAAT angry at anyone!!! but whatever it was for, well, you do sound a beeeeeet LOT angry!!! how about just making a prank call and screaming it all out? or posting this link somewhere where he can read it? Can i do that? the posting or the prank call giving? :P

Esha said...

I think you should call him and give him a bloody good yelling. I am sure he deserves it for making you feel like this. But remember to tell him why you are mad and not cry and be clingy. Be assertive, not needy. That will get it through to him.

Disguise said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel, I've been through it some 5848375 times.
Just call him and YELL your butt off.
It helps :)

The Crystal Heart said...

Orange u already Seen Jab We Knew Wat Kareena was Done ..Whn Her Bf Ditched Her...Heaven Sake Learnt from the movies ...Movies also taught us lesson of life...Last decision is urs..I know Ur Very Mature Girl...You Rock,,,

Ria said...

Yes i hav been in this kinda situation umpteen number of times....and then i hav done what ur friend Disguise has said above. I second her in saying that, yezs it helps to yell at him on phone....hwo can he be totally unaffected by what he's inflicting on u. Give it back to him gal!! Go on.

P.S. I hope venting ur anger here helped u. *hugs*

Chocolate Lover said...

:0 :0 i hv never been that angry!!
I can just say calm down and relax :)

Ramit said...



Yemiledu said...

Calm down baby!
Everything is soooooooon gonna be alright!

Take your time and decide if you really have to undergo all this?(easy said I know)Going in circles...I know how it feels to let down ourself but again its not so difficult to over come...

May be the best is yet to come?He is surely not worth your tears... :~)

"Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realise why it never worked out with anyone else :)" Luv these words here...cause they are all so true :)

Post back as soon as you are alright okay!
Take care!!

SiD said...

well... you can do one thing... know the air gun??? well always comes in handy to shoot your guy when he breaks up...try works...


Take care, this is not normal... no need of getting angry unless you wanna break his head.. so chill use the air gun...:D

suruchi said...

OMG..that angry huh?
First calm down...
Second vent it out on him...
Third move on to someone worth it...

Sooner or later everyone's gonna hurt us in some way or the other..we've got to find those who are worth it...and we've got to make ourselves stronger to bear it...

Hope ur smiles return soon:-)

oRange* said...

Thank you all for your lovely words. Got a smile on my face :)
shit, u guys are sweet! mwah

and thank you for all your suggestions!
love youuu people!

nil said...

Hey, was just blog surfing, stumbled into yours. I freakin love it! Man,where did you get your template from? Leave me a link to whatever website you got it from, *begs*

And quite a post!
And yeaap,can relate to it way awesome,cause been there,done it :|
Don't mean to sound like an 80 year old, so I'll stop.

Awesome blog.
Hope to find you in mine :)

Urvashi said...

hey Orange,whatever u r feeling..just go n tell it out to him....mayb it would hurt now.... but it would definitely relieve u n these feelings wont b suppressed n burst out in the long run....dont b so so so angry on anyone is wat i wud say..

Smile now... TC..... :)

Rishi said...

u seem upset... ;)

chill... relax... happens.. kick him.. slap him in any dir u want... that'll feel a lot better.. if not just imagine doin it...

buckingfastard said...

ahh first signs of madness....memory loss and dual personality soon to follow!!! sigh!!

thank u for confirming my trust in being single....luk at me...single and happy fr 2 months!!!

rain girl said...

tell him.. when you are cool ... and god, I so know how it feels... but it's not easy to talk na.. :)

take care..and I hope all's well now :)

The Crystal Heart said...

In this X-mas,
In the daytime if sun shine so shall Ur expectations come true,
At night when moon comes out so shall U receive blesses,
then if rain fall so shall it going to carry all your problem away from U..

Somehow, not only for Christmas,
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others,
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing,
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart’s possessing,
Returns to you glad.

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

"Happy Merry Christmas"

oRange* said...

@nil: i'm so sorry, i dont seem to remember the link. i just googled blog templates and went on surfing.
thank you! love yours too

@Urvashi: i cant do that now but i'll save it for some other time. thanks :)

@Rishi: imagined that a million times. yes, makes u feel better.

@buckingfastard: bleh.

@rain girl: yes, its just not :(
but once u start ..u just go on and say whatever u ever wanted to!

♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ ayu ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♫ said...

0.O!!!!!! angry, ne..? aww..i wish i can help you to punch him until he dies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Sugar Cube - said...

Critical stage!

You better vent your ire on him or your anger's gonna get worse!

And yeah I've been just as much angry over so many issues when all I wanted to do is break furniture but all I eventually did was to cry.
But when the 'object' making you angry is a person..its easier to get over.Just vent it out!

Chocolate Lover said...

you are tagged :)

Nipun said...

Thats a lot of anger I guess..
Why make the earth heavier by being so heavy hearted??
Just calm down and relax.
Evrything will be f9.

Keep Smiling


oRange* said...

@ayu: ill let u know when i plan to ;)

@sugar cube: i did vent it out is different ways :P
except calling him and telling him why i'm angry ..i did everything else!

@chocolate lover: yay :)

@Nipun: yes, this much anger is dangerous. but im fine now thank you :)

Darshan Chande said...

Orange, I like to think you know what I will say if I open my mouth :P

Anyway -

Sometimes, i feel like using people and ticking them off from the tip of my fingers... You've got me fall in love with this expression, Orange!!! Again, I like your writing style :)

Wish you the best of times this holidays!

oRange* said...

Darshan! dont do that! u must say what u feel like.
i thought u forgot the way to my blog :P

haha, thanks!
and same to u :)

Lavender said...

Beat the shit out of him and hope it hurts like hell :0
then look at yourself in the mirror and say...I deserve much much better and NEVER give him a second thought.

oRange* said...

mwah! im not in the mood right now but i'll remember this ;)

All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle ♥