Sunday, December 20, 2009

Trapped

On our wedding night, he entered drunk. He abused my family and me. I was shocked to see that side of him. I couldn’t sleep that night. Next morning, I found a card beside me. He had left for work leaving me a card saying he was sorry. I forgave him. “Just one day”, I thought.

I waited for him that evening. I prepared a special dinner and decorated the house with candles too but He came home really late. He was fuming with anger for some reason and took off his anger at me. He hit me with his belt when I tried to talk to him. Next day, he apologized with flowers. I forgave him. I put it off thinking he must have had a bad day in office.

But I was wrong. Not one day, not two days..This just continued. It became a part of my life. Those beatings, those abuses, those insults, those threats..I had no choice but to get used to it. Everyday, I would feel that one day he would change, one day he’ll stop. Sadly, it never seemed to end. My friends and family often asked me what the marks on my face were. I gave them stupid reasons. I couldn’t look at them in the eye. By no means did I want them to know the torture I was made to go through. “My husband loves me, I know. He’s just short-tempered” ..I would make myself believe.

I was tired. Tired of lying to my loved ones, tired of making up for his ruthless behaviour, tired of being treated like an ‘object’, tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of looking at the marks he made on my body, tired of crying in the bathroom every night. I would just look at him and wonder what had happened to the man I married? Where had he disappeared? Who was this monster I was living with? This was all beyond my understanding.

The depressed, weak, trapped, distorted image I saw in the mirror was just not me. I wanted to free myself from his clutches. And I finally got the freedom I had longed for ..

Today, I’m free.

I’m lying on my death bed.

He finally killed me. He burnt me to death.

P.S: Inspired by the talk we had on 'Domestic Violence' recently. I dont understand how some people can be so inhuman. It disgusts me.

23 comments:

Disguise said...

This was so sad, but it does happen.
Domestic violence is a crime, and I don't know why women have to go through it :(

Rishi said...

nice inspiration... powerful thought.. quite mature... dwell more on it, i'd recommend.

Rishi said...

as for ppl being inhuman

its the ppl who are human, who amaze me more... inhumanity is mundane and everywhere.

SiD said...

oh shit... this is bad story...

u know the love-less arrange marriage in Indian culture are responsible for most domestic violence.

Good story.

Sorcerer said...

domestic violence... its an evil in any form..

Yemiledu said...

Hey a very sensitive issue told in a very touching way...

only if the women stop undergoing all this silently, there will come a change for better...

Shanu said...

Well told :)

oRange* said...

@Disguise: i swear ..its terrible.

@Rishi: hmm, well said

@Sid: nah, i dont think this happens only in arranged marriages. there's a huge possibility of it happening in a love marriage too.

@Sorcerer: yes ..

@Yemiledu: thanks! true, its easy to say but really ..they should stop taking such shit quietly.

@Shanu: thank you!

Ashley said...

I wish the women going through this would have the courage to stand up for themselves....I wish their well wishers have the presence of mind to notice the tell tale signs and help them get out of the mess in time....How I wish...

A very touching post Orange...

Ria said...

that was a painful post....how i wish women around me had the courage to walk out when this starts! Even the first time shud not be tolerated.

buckingfastard said...

likd hw u ended da story...death symbolizing freedom....

kudos!!

Chocolate Lover said...

this one is really awesome :)

sulagna said...

i wish women could just walk out of this and have the courage to do so..all we can do is feel helpless and just talk of such things

The Crystal Heart said...

Really So Touchy And Its Really Terrible...Sooooo Sad

Rahil said...

its christmas time soon,..hope santa blesses such inhuman people wid some sense of humanity..

fingers crossed !!

oRange* said...

@Ashley: absolutely. thanks

@Ria: exactly! but very few do that.

@buckingfastard: thanks!

@chocolate lover: thank you!

@sulagna: yeah, i know ..

@The Crystal Heart: hmm

@Rahil: aah, lets hope!

Manjari Singh said...

The issue DV is really close to my heart. Go to ur near by slum and you will see many women getting beaten every day surprisingly educated upper middle class males are also into it. " My husband loves me, he just had bad day" thts what women assumes when they get thrashed.
http://pyrofemale.blogspot.com/2009/09/hum-aurat-jaat-hai.html.

See my experience. I mean what i witnessed

Ramit said...

You write well. Why didn't I find your blog earlier?

oRange* said...

@Manjari Singh: it says it doesnt exist.

@Ramit: thank you Ramit! hehe, now u did ;)

nil said...

Thereeeeee. I'm your stalker now :P

oRange* said...

woohooo! :)

The West Wind said...

Lovely narration.. sensitive issue presented very innocently.. loved it :)

oRange* said...

thanks!

All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle ♥