Tired, angry, helpless, let down, irritated, clueless. That’s me today.
You feel like shit when people think you to be something you just aren’t and never intended to be. It’s damn annoying because all you want to do is scream from the roof-tops but even that doesn’t seem to help much. Why do I care so much? I am that way. It does affect me, especially when a not-so-pleasant tag has been stuck to you for quite a long time. The Ms. Arrogant tag.
When I heard this for the first time, I was like WHAAT ..but im not that way and blah blah blah! Now, I’m getting used to it. Not that I’m proud of it but in a way I have no choice. Many people have told me that I just LOOK arrogant but after knowing me they know I’m nowhere close to being so. But that’s not good right? I have no intentions of coming across as an arrogant person. I don’t even know from where it started. I tried to dig up so many reasons..maybe I don’t smile 'enough' or maybe I don’t 'seem' that interested in meeting new people and so on ..
I’m still left with no answer. And when I don’t know the reason, I can’t see from where I can start making the changes.
How much can I say that I don’t care? At the end of the day, I do care because that’s not what I am ..I AM NOT ARROGANT ..yes, I’m shouting now! Is it right to make your baseless judgements without even making an effort to know the person? Its sick. I’m exhausted and I feel like I’ve failed miserably.
Whatever it is, I know there are many who’ll stand up for me and who know how I am. For the others, I’ll just give myself a few more chances and change the way I ‘make’ myself appear. Yes, I’m making efforts because I want to do away with the fucking tag. It bloody well bothers me.
If things still don’t change, balls to them. I’m done.
Go die, you judgemental assholes. Fuck you.
‘I want to live in a world where people don’t judge you with what they’ve heard, they actually take the efforts to know you’