This and that ..here and there ..

Just a bunch of disconnected thoughts ..

It’s the season..to be sexually frustrated. Yes, don’t hide your faces..I know you, you and yes you.. are sexually frustrated as well :P
Huahaha! I’m telling you, it is indeed the ‘sexually frustrated’ season!
Currently, I know of 3 people who are sexually frustrated and 1 who is trying his BEST to control. Goodness! The human body is a funny lil’ thing haa. Soon, we’ll need counsellors coz any kind of frustration my child, makes you do crazy crazy things ;)

A likes B. B likes A. C likes A. A doesn’t like-like C. B starts acting weird. A gets all worked up. In the mess, A gets too detached from B and realises she has started liking C. She turns to C just to see C behind someone else. Now, A runs behind C forgetting B. WTF! DOES A HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO IN LIFE?!!
Contrary to your expectations, this for a change is NOT my story :P
Phew.

I have a friend who’s 18 already but he just refuses to GROW UP. Do guys take an unusually long period of time to grow up? I wonder ..
And he’s not the ranbir-in-wake-up-sid-wala-cute-kid kid okay, he’s the really annoying-kid kid -_-
I'm just trying to not be mean but unfortunately ..its not working out!

I want to try out past life regression too and no, not with Ravi Kishen hovering around my head!

All through 2009, I remember loving it but now I can just see myself wanting to get over with it asap! Go 2009, Go ..thy job is done! But, you've been an awesome year ;)

I’m dying of joblessness! Can’t wait for college to begin.

Ugh. I’m beginning to forget someone’s face. Good sign? Bad sign? I don’t know. Whatever it is, I don’t like the feeling :(

Okay, this post is really weird but I’m just posting it.
Oh and btw,
A very happy new year to all of you out there! May you have a rocking 2010 :)

Taggg-ED!

So, i've been tagged by Choco ..

1. What is your current obsession?
My hair is and will always be my obsession.

2. What are you wearing today?
Pink top and blue shorts. Thinking if I should go wear a jacket coz I'm
freezing!

3. What’s for dinner?
I smell Chole. Choley or chole?

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
A watch.

5. What are you listening to right now?
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
She writes well and I enjoy reading her blog! Sweet girl :)

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
New York

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Sunscreen lotion! I get tanned so easily! Ugh.

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Delhi. Right this second!

10. Which language do you want to learn?
I Want to excel in French :D
And then I want to learn Gujrati coz gujjus are cho cute!

11. What’s your favourite quote?
Whatever happens, happens for the best! I’ll believe in it till I die.

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Coujjins. I mish them :(

13. What is your favourite colour?
Purple, I love and pink’s my new favourite!

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Don’t overdo stuff. Make sure you’re comfortable in what you wear. Avoid animal prints coz I hate them :P

15. What is your dream job?
To do a movie that has SRK and me in the lead. Then, we can have Ben Affleck and Ranbir Kapoor too in the second half :D

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Blaaah! Don’t kill me ..but I think it’s Femina. That’s the only magazine I’ve read in the past few months I guess :P

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Clothes, clothes and more clothes. And I’ll also buy gifts for a few people!

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Animal prints! Yuck.

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Dhoni. MTV had once nominated him as a style icon. I don’t know if he won but even nominating him was like :O

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Long but not like the ones that reach your waist

21. What are you going to do after this?
Hog :D

22. What are your favourite movies?
So many baba! I can’t even begin to write!

23. What inspires you?
Some people in a twisted way ..inspire me to NOT end up like them. Get me?

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Some make cute modifications of my name and it’s really amusing to hear. And then there are some who can never learn how to pronounce my name which annoys me!

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Coffeeeee! I wonder how people drink tea

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I cry and it helps me. And if u think crying is a sign of weakness --> *slap*

27. What makes you go wild?
Ooh, wild and all that ;)
But in what sense exactly? I think I am perennially pretty wild :P

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All the ones on my blogroll. Sweethearts they are!

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Chocolates!

30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
My blog, Gmail and I’m also reading Sense and Sensibilty which is a part of the reading list given to us! Talk about multi-tasking ;)

31. Favorite Season?
Winter, I loveee :)

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
I’m sorry but I only cook for myself but if u do turn up ..I could make maggi or something for you or this chocolate dessert I invented recently ..its called Sizzling Marie! Even if you don’t want to have it, I’ll make sure u take a bite :P

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Just look THROUGH them! I do that.

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Animals! I think the worst way to die is to get eaten up by some animal ..like a lion or something :O

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
If only ..this nose could have been shaped differently! Lol, that’s what I think everyday :P

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Oooh, tooo many things/people! Sometimes, I start smiling without any rhyme or reason ..

37. A word that you say a lot?
Uum, I go ‘reaaaalllyy?!’ like so many times and ‘oh fuck’ toh chalta rehta hain!

Damn, the tag’s over :(
I could go on and on! Thanks Choco :)

Rules for those who are tagged:
Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag eight or ten other new set of people.

And, I’ll tag :
-Sulagna
-Shreya
-Disguise (where art thou?)
-Ramit
-PNA
-Ashley
-Yemiledu
-Sid
-buckingfastard
-nil

*dhoom-dhaas-thoos-thaaas*

I got sloshed on Xmas night at my friend’s place in a sleepover.
1 bottle of Vodka + half a bottle of Beer = me gone totally ‘tul’ :D
That’s how I spent 2009’s Christmas! And it was fabulous *hic*

Well, you all read about how mad I was some days back but getting drunk surely left me feeling a lot lighter and calmer. I could feel it when I woke up next morning. I felt like ..there was some kind of a burden which got released. It was my first. I’ve always wanted to get drunk and I think God made all the arrangements to make our plan work ;)
When I see how the day passed..it just looks picture perfect. Nothing went wrong. Damn, was I glad or what! That just goes to show that it just had to happen for SOME reason and it did.

I danced, I cried, I laughed like a maniac, I jumped, I sang ..I did everything I could in those 5 hours of drunkenness. I don’t think I was entirely drunk coz I do remember quite a lot of things. You know, how a kid laughs when his mum/dad throw him up into the air ..The kid knows his parents are not going to let him fall. That’s how I felt when I just fell backwards without thinking twice. And who caught me? The red bean bag :P
And it kept catching me everytime I did it. I even kissed it. Ok, I’m talking crap and no, I’m not drunk anymore. Oh, and I kept saying “I love my mumma” and “I’m sorry” before my friend put me to sleep. Yes, I love my mum but why was I sorry?

Then, we danced. We danced on Sinbad the Sailor and Masakali coz those were the only songs coming on TV that time :/ *damn*
I even screwed things up with some people on phone but I don’t really have regrets. I was just too embarrassed having said whatever I said. But duh, I have an excuse ..I was drunk c’mon! I’m allowed that I guess ;)
And then came the time, when I cried. Cried my heart out. Whining like a baby.

Hope u guys had a fun time too :)

Oh btw, I don’t understand how people get addicted to alcohol! It tastes yuck. *waaack*
It was just my medicine to get drunk. I so didn’t enjoy having it. Even imagining it to be cold coffee with chocolate sauce and whipped cream didn’t help. I almost swore to NOT touch alcohol for the next 10 months atleast! Don’t ask me about the after effects! I almost died. My tummy troubled me so much and I had a crazy headache. I slept for 6-7 hours yesterday and felt drowsy all throughout. I puked too. Infact, I spent my whole morning in the loo yesterday :/

P.S: I’m currently reading a 'super white gay vampire’s' and a 'silly girl’s' louwe story. I was forced to so don’t judge me. Yes, I'm utterly jobless and have nothing better to do in life :P

I'm about to burst!

I am so furious, I could KILL somebody!
I feel like slapping him left, right and centre..I feel like punching a punching bag till my hands hurt, I feel like throwing things around and breaking glasses, chairs, tables and everything possible, I feel like throwing away my phone, I feel like tearing open my pillow, I feel like screaming my lungs out so that it reaches him wherever he is, I feel like scribbling with a black marker on the white walls of my house, I feel like throwing tomatoes and eggs at somebody. Can I do ANY of the above? No. All I can do is C-R-Y. And I’ve cried so much already, post last night that it does not help.

Balls to being mature. Balls to being understanding. Balls to being sweet. Balls to being patient. Balls to being quiet and keeping everything to myself. All of this goes OUT of my window right this second! If being all of that makes me go through this shit then that’s it. Now, I’m going to be stubborn. I’m going to act like an immature kid and YOU have to give ME what I want. In other words, I’m just going to be YOU. Sometimes, i feel like using people and ticking them off from the tip of my fingers whenever i wish to but I can never get myself to do such a thing. I would die of guilt or something.

What irritates me is that I repeatedly find myself going in circles. I can come out of it right now but everytime I think I have..I find myself in the same position! I’m not the types who keeps high expectations from myself but this time I feel like I’ve terribly let someone down..and that’s me.

Lastly, *bows down to all those who’ve managed to conquer the non-attachment phase*
As for me, I’m unfortunately.. too comfortably settled in the ‘attachment’ phase and still haven’t figured a way out.

See what YOU do to me! I don’t even a p.s to offer for this post!
Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

I AM MAD AT HIM AND I WANT HIM TO KNOW!
HOW?
I DON'T KNOW!

Have you ever been SO angry at someone that your head feels like it's going to burst any second?
My head's hurting and I'm going back to bed.
Have a nice day ..I'm sure to -_-

Trapped

On our wedding night, he entered drunk. He abused my family and me. I was shocked to see that side of him. I couldn’t sleep that night. Next morning, I found a card beside me. He had left for work leaving me a card saying he was sorry. I forgave him. “Just one day”, I thought.

I waited for him that evening. I prepared a special dinner and decorated the house with candles too but He came home really late. He was fuming with anger for some reason and took off his anger at me. He hit me with his belt when I tried to talk to him. Next day, he apologized with flowers. I forgave him. I put it off thinking he must have had a bad day in office.

But I was wrong. Not one day, not two days..This just continued. It became a part of my life. Those beatings, those abuses, those insults, those threats..I had no choice but to get used to it. Everyday, I would feel that one day he would change, one day he’ll stop. Sadly, it never seemed to end. My friends and family often asked me what the marks on my face were. I gave them stupid reasons. I couldn’t look at them in the eye. By no means did I want them to know the torture I was made to go through. “My husband loves me, I know. He’s just short-tempered” ..I would make myself believe.

I was tired. Tired of lying to my loved ones, tired of making up for his ruthless behaviour, tired of being treated like an ‘object’, tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of looking at the marks he made on my body, tired of crying in the bathroom every night. I would just look at him and wonder what had happened to the man I married? Where had he disappeared? Who was this monster I was living with? This was all beyond my understanding.

The depressed, weak, trapped, distorted image I saw in the mirror was just not me. I wanted to free myself from his clutches. And I finally got the freedom I had longed for ..

Today, I’m free.

I’m lying on my death bed.

He finally killed me. He burnt me to death.

P.S: Inspired by the talk we had on 'Domestic Violence' recently. I dont understand how some people can be so inhuman. It disgusts me.

Woohoo!!

Guess who JUST turned Nineteeeeeen!

Gosh, this year went super fast. Feels like it was just yesterday when i turned 18
yah! THAT fast! :O

I was so not excited for my birthday. I dont feel 19. I don’t feel the change. I stopped feeling anything since the time I turned 17. No, I’m not this lifeless, depressed soul or anything. It’s just that ..age baby, was never a barrier ;)
Huahaha!

It's 1:30 and im actually wide awake, writing this post ..knowing that i just have 3 hours before i get ready for college! Maybe because i'm just too elated coz some people just made my day ;)

This year was faaaaab! I loved 2007, 2008 and 2009
Sexiest years till date! 2010, i hope is SEXIER!

P.S: Recently, I called my friend a 'chienne' and she went WTF :S
And I was like “Huahaha, chienne means bitch” B-)
Lol, Shreya thanks for helping me increase my French vocab. I lurveee that word!
Try my best to throw it around these days :P

Me. Award. Yay!

My *first* blogging award, yayy :)


Thank you buckingfastard!
So, here goes ..7 things about myself that nobody knows ..

1. I’m obsessed with the mirror. I can sit in front of it for ages and make faces at myself.

2. Spontaneity excites me. I love being that way and being around such people. I hate it when people take ages to decide something. I feel like shaking them up and screaming, right into their ears!

3. I have always been scared of MJ. When I was tiny, many of my nightmares included him. May his soul rest in peace.

4. I love creating nicknames for people. Like some really embarrassing, weird ones and calling them out in public! Huahaha :D

5. I forget faces very quickly. Pictures don’t help because seeing a picture and remembering how someone looks isn’t the same. There are times when I miss someone a lot but when I try to remember his/her face, it just doesn’t happen. That sucks.

6. I’m loving French! I can go and settle down in Paris now. And anyway, francias garcon sont sexaayy ;) [I think I screwed that up :/]

7. Blogging made me realise that I don’t write thaaaat bad.
I’m loving it and finding so many like-minded people here is just wonderful!


The next step is to pass it over to 7 other people.
So, I think I’ll pass it over to everyone on my Blogroll because they are ALL such amazing writers and I enjoy reading their posts :)


Rules:
1) List 7 things about yourself that nobody know.
2) Pass on this award to 7 other people.
3) Comment on their blog and let them know that they are tagged.

R and her boyfriend.

WARNING: Horribly random. Like cant get random-er! Don’t blame me for wasting your precious 60 seconds after you’re done :P

Okay, so my friend R and I were sitting on the marble stairs having coffee ..

“U know, my boyfriend’s coming to pick me up today”
“Aah, nice! What does he do?”
“he works! He’s really sweet haa! He looks better than me but whatever..ill introduce u guys ..let him come”
“*so not interested* oh okay! Cool cool”
“He has brown eyes! I love them! He looks really good. People told him to try modelling but I was like arey u have such a good job..don’t leave it for modelling c’mon! Right na?”
“yes ofcourse”
“U know how we first met? Oh god it was so filmy u know! We were fighting like crazy and then next day he only came and spoke to me and that’s how we got talking and phir he asked me out after a few days and I was like chalo, lets give It a try and I’m glad because he’s so sweet!”
“Even films don’t show those things these days. Awh, sweet! I think we have to come on Monday too for the meeting. I don’t think ill come. Serious waste of time”
“Yes we do. Ill come and ill ask him to come pick me up too! Advantage of having a boyfriend ..hahaha”
“Does your bf have no other work? Hahaha, ya do that!”

Her phone rings. It’s her boyfriend
“Where are you? Haa so come fast! Got a cab? It’ll take 10 mins from the station! Hmm, ok! Shut up. Don’t act smart haa! Hahahaha! Okay fine ..come and then we’ll see! Call me when u get a cab okay! If u don’t get it ..ill come. Bye”

back to me
“He keeps doing masti! Let’s go and stand near the gate. He should be coming!”
“No u go. I’ll have to wait for N here. You carry on! Have fun ..I’ll meet him some other time ya!”
“Oh okay! Ya, ill tell him to come everyday now! Kuch toh kaam aaye ..haha”
“Haha! Ya ya! Bye”
“Bye”

PHEW.
And I sat there waiting for N who turned up after 20 minutes!

“Where the fuck were you?!”
“Don’t ask! I met R while entering and then we got talking and her boyfriend came and she got us introduced and stuff! I need coffeeee!!”

..and I died laughing!


Girls I tell you :P
I study in an all girls college and sometimes it gets to me. There are some girls who are just so excited about having a boyfriend. They can start yapping about their boyfraaands to anyone they meet! It’s really amusing to hear because they are just so jumpy about the whole thing! All you have to do is sit and stare and nod and smile ofcourse!

P.S: I watched P.S. I love you and wept for the zillionth time.
As I’m writing this, I realise how I totally exploit the usage of post-scripts! Lol, I just can’t do without them! :P
I have to add atleast one P.S at the end of every post!

Oh-Ms.Arrogant!

Tired, angry, helpless, let down, irritated, clueless. That’s me today.
You feel like shit when people think you to be something you just aren’t and never intended to be. It’s damn annoying because all you want to do is scream from the roof-tops but even that doesn’t seem to help much. Why do I care so much? I am that way. It does affect me, especially when a not-so-pleasant tag has been stuck to you for quite a long time. The Ms. Arrogant tag.

When I heard this for the first time, I was like WHAAT ..but im not that way and blah blah blah! Now, I’m getting used to it. Not that I’m proud of it but in a way I have no choice. Many people have told me that I just LOOK arrogant but after knowing me they know I’m nowhere close to being so. But that’s not good right? I have no intentions of coming across as an arrogant person. I don’t even know from where it started. I tried to dig up so many reasons..maybe I don’t smile 'enough' or maybe I don’t 'seem' that interested in meeting new people and so on ..
I’m still left with no answer. And when I don’t know the reason, I can’t see from where I can start making the changes.

How much can I say that I don’t care? At the end of the day, I do care because that’s not what I am ..I AM NOT ARROGANT ..yes, I’m shouting now! Is it right to make your baseless judgements without even making an effort to know the person? Its sick. I’m exhausted and I feel like I’ve failed miserably.

Whatever it is, I know there are many who’ll stand up for me and who know how I am. For the others, I’ll just give myself a few more chances and change the way I ‘make’ myself appear. Yes, I’m making efforts because I want to do away with the fucking tag. It bloody well bothers me.
If things still don’t change, balls to them. I’m done.

Go die, you judgemental assholes. Fuck you.

‘I want to live in a world where people don’t judge you with what they’ve heard, they actually take the efforts to know you’