Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Love it is.

I think I'm in love. Shashi Tharoor. Shashi Tharoor. Shashi Tharoor. That man is all over the place. He is SO incredibly good looking :O
He's 54 but oh-my-god just look at him!

Talking about love.. I wanted to share this with all of you. This was written by Darshan Chande, a fellow blogger.. while we were discussing about ‘love’. Long read but some GOOD stuff, trust me :)

#86 Strength to accept the reality only comes through awareness.

#89 Love is a magic in itself. This magic has nothing to do with the object of love. When you become obsessed with the object, love is no more love but a disease.

Read the first thought I quoted above. The awareness here would be the awareness about LOVE. Love is such a profound thing that for centuries people have been trying to understand it and there are hundreds of theories explaining it. But still it's topping the list of psychological pains the mankind suffers.

Now read the second thought I have quoted above.

Love simply is liking beyond limit. When you don't just like something, but like it "very much", you say you "love" it. Love is heightened state of liking. Nothing else. In case of interpersonal love, there are numerous reasons why you may feel love for someone. Note that there's no difference between "love" and "attraction". Few of the reasons for being attracted to someone are beauty, nature, body language, intelligence, sexual pleasure etc. Because of these or any of the countless other reasons you may develop intense liking for some person. Nothing is wrong about it. Liking something is a pleasure. Like watching a flower is a pleasure. Or facing cool breeze on a mountain-top is a pleasurable experience. Love, too, is a pleasurable experience. Very natural characteristics of love are feelings of compassion and care for the person. That naturally comes because, of course, you would not like offending and thereby risk losing someone who gives you that pleasurable experience. It's like when you hold a delicate flower how it naturally occurs to you to hold it with care. That's because of love.

That's love. Love is a pleasurable experience of being in admiration of something or someone. The important thing to understand here is that it's those abstract things (beauty, nature, body language, intelligence, sexual pleasure etc) which are giving you this experience, and the object in concern (the person) is just a medium. You very well know that in life you can fall in love more than once. This very well proves that it's not the object but the abstract qualities carried by the object which inspire love. It's a fallacy of human mind, or rather a weakness, that every time one is in love with someone one believes that this person is the best one could have and that this love is "meant to be" and things like that.

When I say "love is a magic in itself, and this magic has nothing to do with the object of love", what I mean is that all the (magical) pleasure you derive out of love is in the act of loving itself. You love a flower because of its beauty and fragrance. They are not the object (which is the flower) but the abstract things carried by the object. So, you say you love the flower. Then I have said "when you become obsessed with the object, love is no more love but a disease." You love the flower. You become obsessed with it. But flower is a mortal thing. Prone to change. After a couple of days it's ugly. Now you grieve over it. No. Don't. Look there in the garden outside there are thousands of flowers spreading their beauty and fragrance. Once you see it you will again fall in love with some other flower. Because it was not the flower but the beauty of it which was captivating. It's the beauty which is eternal and everlasting and not the object.

An aware person would know this fact. Understand why you love. Identify the abstract things because of which your love is. And know that the object is just a medium. Don't be obsessed with the object, because it will not remain. Just like the flower does not remain. If you cling to the object there will be pain. Hence I call this sort of love, obsessive love, a disease.

There's nothing wrong if the flower remains for life. But the awareness of the essence of love is necessary. Almost 99 percent of the people are ignorant. They get committed to the person they love. Then gradually as the flower goes no-more-fragrant the person loses those qualities, but still they cling to each other, only because they have lost the strength to be one their own again. Love is impossible in such a case. Then the only resort to keep from going mad is creating illusions. People then form illusions that love still is. But such love of illusion is not beautiful. Certainly not. Is it?

Here's one more thought I had penned a few days back -

#66 'I like this person beyond limit.' This is love. 'I want us to be committed.' This is absurdity.

Enjoy every aspect of the relationship AS IS. Be in love with love, and be grateful to the object for giving you the opportunity to experience love. If the object remains, good. If not, love still is, all around you. No one can take it. What are you afraid to lose?

His blog:
Worth a look!


Raj said...

definitely worth a look!

I'm just a 19 yr old kid ya. And I hate about me sections, so ...

so confused abt ourselves are we? lol. u l grow over it. soon enuf :)

Ria said...

good post. And lol@what u hav written in the first 3 lines. :P

You Did Whaaat?! said...

I like your blog :) Check mine out: :)

Darshan Chande said...

Lukewarm response! LOL!! People are not as interested in understanding love as they are always eager to jump into it! No wonder love is such a pain, Orange..!! :D :D :D :D

oRange* said...

@Raj: confused? Not at all. I dont know where to start in 'about me' sections, that's about it :)

@Ria: thanks!

@YouDidWhaaat: thanks, sure i will!

@Darshan: Lol, weird. Seriously!

nil said...

Wow now THAT was a nice read. Seriously.

And oRange* , about Shashi Tharoor. I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

impuregod said...

oh..ho... wen a teens talks about love.... this is how it turns out to be... nice post...

Raj said...

dont know whr 2 start or whr 2 stop?

oRange* said...

@nil: You too? :D

@impuregod: teen who?

@Raj: both :P

All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle ♥