Void.

Well, I learnt a very important lesson yesterday and it is that being sweet and always trying to make things easier for the ‘others’ around you gets you nowhere. You have to save your ass first. At the end of the day, it’s just you and your lil’ ass and you certainly don’t want it burnt. (Umm, I don’t think that line made much sense but I liked the sound of it. You get me, i hope)

Secondly, however close you are to a person it’s very important to keep your trap shut at times. There are some things which need NOT be told aloud. At the end, it just works against you and nothing else. And I’m someone who needs to really keep this in mind because when I share a good comfort level with somebody, I tend to speak my heart out. So not cool.

Sunday night was not expected to turn out this way. In one hour, I realised so much about myself. In that one hour, someone planted an atom bomb on my head and I was unprepared. Yes, I did learn but the way I did isn’t really a pleasant memory. But maybe, that’s life. Unless you don’t learn it the hard way, things don’t seep in and change.

Hmm, so I lost a very very close friend (plus something else which I dont know what to call) in somebody. I don’t know how long that will last and how things will be between us from now onwards. It is partly in my hands to just overlook whatever happened but it feels close to impossible.

At the end of the whole thing, more than being hurt, angry, depressed ..I just feel really very dumb. So dumb that it makes me laugh. I think it’s high time I start drawing the line somewhere and wearing an ‘invisible shield’. I’ve seen such people and I swear I envy them. Even though I don’t like the sound of wearing an ‘invisible shield’, I have to try. I’ll atleast be spared of these moments when I feel totally silly.

If the same thing happens to you twice, there’s bound to be some flaw in you right? Reminds of this line I read somewhere: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Aah, so totally meant for me.

I’m a mess right now. I don’t even know how I’m going to implement all that I just wrote about. I’m too cranky and sleep deprived as of now so I’m off to bed.

P.S: I might not be happy with the way things turned out but I’m not miserable or anything. A tad bit angry that’s it. Not at him, at myself.
Highlight of the day, I made muffins and they were yummm :)